Domesticated predators

Heterosexual relationships in which the woman is much older than her male partner have become increasingly visible in popular culture. Typically these women are referred to as cougars and their partners as toyboys. It is argued that these types of relationships have the potential to undermine traditional forms heteronormativity and intersectional gender/age performances. For women past their forties are not expected to engage in sexual relationships, especially not with younger men. Building on theories in gender studies on gender performance, heterosexual identities and intersectionality, this study discusses the discourse found in Dutch gossip media regarding the relationships of four pre-selected celebrity cougars, i.e. Patricia Paay, Demi Moore, Madonna, and Heleen van Royen. Articles that reported on relationship events and were published in the most central gossip media in the Netherlands were sampled (N=138). A qualitative content analysis revealed that these women were depicted as independent and empowered, whereas the male partners were portrayed as dependent on their older female partners. This challenges the traditional understandings of heteronormativity, albeit a power imbalance remains intact. The second main finding concerns that gossip media describe cougars and toyboys in terms of acts that are congruent with general understandings of intersectional performances of gender/age, i.e. a wise, caring, decent-looking mother, with a handsome, boyish, adventurous partner. Overall, the media did not describe these relationships in terms of deviance. It is argued that has to do mainly with the relation between the two main findings: while gossip media describe cougars in terms of how they dominate over their male partner and thereby challenge certain aspects of heteronormativity, other aspects are more compatible with the seemingly natural beliefs of doing gender/age within the framework of heterosexual relationships. Thus in theoretical terms, denaturalizing the “natural” does not necessarily trigger criticism, as long as practices that supposedly challenge heteronormativity occur alongside certain gender/age performances that reproduce heteronormative frameworks.